Last night and very early morning I once again felt energy, joy, power – aliveness, if you will. How come, you ask? Let me tell you…
A good friend of ours was confronted with the fact that her father unexpectedly died. He is Italian, living in Sicily. Our friend is a mother of 4 children, married and lives in Germany, close to where we live. She was told that the burial was to be today, which left her almost no time to get to Sicily.
My wife and other friends organized a quick fund raiser in order to pay for the flight (short notice flights are always expensive) and I said I would take her to the airport by car (about 1 hour drive).
What’s so special about that, you ask?
The feeling that I had about me helping out, picking our friend up at 3 in the night, taking her to the airport, seeing her thankfulness, feeling it. It wasn’t about the spoken words of thanks (which she and her husband, of course, gave me plenty of), it was about that which you can’t easily describe in words.
Trying to bring it to NVC (step 1- observation – can be found above) I would say that I felt great positive energy, I was happy to help, my body might have been tired but my mind was all awake, full of purpose and direction (step 2 – feelings). Thinking of what was so important to me (step 3 – needs) I would say that besides probably a bunch of other needs it was mostly the beautiful need of contributing to others lifes that was met in a way that I usually don’t encounter in my daily life (I am a father and husband, so some of it is always there).
Wait a minute, those of you who are not familiar with NVC might say – that son of *** was helping and all he can think of are his own needs? What a selfish person!
Well – yes, the whole idea of NVC is that every action and / or word is based on needs that are either fulfilled or unfulfilled and every person is responsible for their own needs. It just so happens that my need for contribution might make someone happy or thankful and therefore “make him / her feel good”. Ain’t selfishness great?
This experience gave me so much energy and power and encouragement that (step 4 – request) that would ask myself to please find more situations in my daily life where I can truly contribute to other people’s wellbeing / lifes.
Thanks for reading and comments are always welcome 🙂