Well, here I am.
Somehow I don’t quite know, yet, how often I will write here but my intentions are to regularly write something here.
Not just something, to be sure – I’d like to share my thoughts about and experiences with Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent-communication, about empathy, about compassionate thinking and speaking and I might write down things that I believe could be helpful. I might also write down thoughts about current issues or just simply forget the kindness for a second and spill my guts – or as I prefer to say: “be authentic”.
I could start by stating my ideas about being authentic.
I find that, especially in internet forums or blogs, being authentic is often misunderstood as being plain rude and insulting others. I believe there is a difference. Being authentic the way I understand it is, even more than usually, being connected to youself and not to what the others did or said. Being authentic might be being in pain and telling another person exactly that. “Sorry, bro’, but this hurts! I feel sad and hurt and hell, yes, I am angry!” But that it not the same as “Bro’, you hurt me! Whatever you said was bs and you’re wrong with that!”
Do you notice the difference? The first outburst is clearly made of I-messages, I am with myself at that point. I hurt. I am angry. The second outburst is you-messages. Problem being: you-messages will probably never solve any situation and mostly won’t even make anyone feel better. They will just raise more tensions because the other side will automatically turn into “defending myself”-mode.
Now – I am not saying that I-messages will lead to immediate relief or having a beer together but at least it does not attack the other involved person and it is pure authenticity – it is what is living inside me now.
Well, that’s it for now. My first. Comments welcome 🙂